Further Tip Offs You are Dating a Loser: Guy Edition

So I was reading through my Twitter feed and clicked on this link and laughed my ass off: 13 Signs You are Dating a Loser

Frankly there are plenty of men in my life who need this as a blue print for who not to date. But then I realized, some where missing or where frankly to open for interpretation. So I thought I would toss a few more on the list that I like to refer to as run don’t walk away from women.

Further Tip Offs you are dating a Loser:

1) She is not friends with her Exes.

Yes, there are some men who are total a-holes and should lose the friendship, but for the most part, relationships are a two way street. If there is only one she isn’t friends with, that’s excusable. But if she isn’t friends with the majority that is a HUGE red flag. If she speaks negatively about them on top of that, run! Run fast and run hard. See, that type of girl is doing one of two things. A) She has got some truly shitty taste which speaks volumes on how she sees herself or and more realistically the case B) She is never at fault. She is perfect. And guess what, you are not.

2) You have so much Potential if you just didn’t waste it!

No one gets likes another person’s likes 100% percent. And yes, there are a lot of people out there that need motivation. But there is a huge difference between being a supportive girlfriend who is cheering you on to take that risk and ask for that raise you deserve and the one who bitches that there is no point in playing video games, that is so childish, and you need to grow up and do something more productive.

You are not a project to be fixed, mended or molded. You might need some scrubbing and yes, we might demand that you scrub your nails before they go certain places, but that is more for our protection than to change you. Asking you to bathe, brush your hair and/or teeth and cut your nails does not fall in this category.

3) Dress for Success

So lets talk about actual appearance. I am pretty easy going on this stuff for the most part except for two things in reference to women that are warning signs of potential issues, dress her age and dress this decade.

a) Age Appropriate Wear
There are certain issues when a woman dresses inappropriately for her age. A) she normally can’t pull it off very well because of pesky gravity and B) why does she feel the need to dress that way. Let me explain. There are certain things you can wear when you are 15 to 22 that you really can’t wear much past that. I don’t care how smoking hot you are, you are still smoking hot in comparison to women your age, not their age. So the question why is this bad? Simple. Either they don’t want to grow up or that was their best time of their life and they don’t want to let it go. Either way, bad for you. There will be drama. Tip Offs-too short shorts, tops that purposely show the bra (wife beater or spaghetti strapped tank top with a standard bra for example – and really, why is anyone dressing like Lindsay Lohan or Brittney Spears anyway?), glitter makeup.

Exceptions to this rule: Halloween and Sporting Events. I will never fault a woman in pigtails, face paint and wearing cut off sweatpants with her team’s logo across the ass. That is getting into character and that to me is the same as dressing up for Halloween or being on stage.

b) 1985 called, they want their hair back

Bowling for Soup got it right in the song “1985”. If you are still dressing from a different era, you are still trying to live in that era. Yes, fashion is cyclical but not exactly. Best example is Rockabilly Style. This style specifically pulls from a much older era. Yet, is it exactly a match, of course not. It adds in flare from this time period too. Even when stars where vintage they pair with other more up to date elements. And unless you live where there is no tv, magazines, billboards, newspapers, or internet, then there is no excuse to at least be aware that time has moved onward.

Why is this a problem? Well, if the best time of her life is behind her, then where does that leave you? In the not as good time as back then? No, if a woman is always looking backwards, her future will become exactly as she expects to be, never as good as it was back then. And do you really want to be part of that? Its one thing to look back on your deathbed and say, “College was the high point” its something entirely different to live the remaining 60 years of your life by that belief.

4) Excuses, Excuses

So several things fall under this, but they all go back to the fact that they are technically a victim in their own life. Whatever the excuse, I was raised that way, it’s what is expected of me, its tradition (whether this be cultural, ethnic or religious), etc. But the main point is there is always an outside force that compels them to do bad things. I drink because my parents drank. I only eat fatty fried foods because that’s how Southern/Greek/Italian/Mexican/etc cook, or my personal favorite, well in “my culture it’s expected for the man to have a mistress”.

Though this came out of a man’s mouth, I actually had a man tell me how it was his devoted wife’s fault that he had a string of affairs with strippers he picked up when he was out traveling for work.

Now we all make little rationalizations for why we don’t do things we know we should or for why we do things we know we shouldn’t. But if it is a biggie, or if the majority of explanations even for small stuff are the victim card, then you need to leave. That’s because part of being an adult is being responsible for your actions and if she can’t even be honest with herself about that, she is not an adult. And it’s illegal to date minors.

5) Violent

The fact that I need to say this sucks. I will give a free pass in certain situations. Slapping because the ex cheated, she was preggers and it wasn’t too bad (those damn hormones), high school, things like this, I will let pass. But if she has EVER got violent with an ex, friends, in a bar, her children or you, get out now.

“But her ex was abusive”. I volunteered at a crisis center; I am familiar with domestic abuse. Sometimes women are the abuser and actually sometimes the abuse is mutual.

Think of it this way, if your mom or sister were dating a man who did that action towards their ex, would you be okay with them dating that guy? Then why lower the standard for you.

And if a guy actually dated a chick who burned all an ex’s stuff like in the movie “Exhale” I would personally buy him an airline ticket to get the hell out of there. Shut it down.

6) The Chameleon

This one can be tricky. You might not even know at first you are dating a Chameleon. Your likes are her likes. She might have not done something before but she is willing to try it because you like it. She might come across as perfect, but be careful. No one is perfect.

This is a hard one because I don’t want to be to general. There are plenty of women out there that will try new things because of a guy and end up liking it for the actual thing, not the guy. But there are women out there that are so desperate that they will try and change themselves to be the perfect woman for what man they are currently with. And that is the key part.

I had the misfortune to actually witness the transformation (well, over the phone) of a Chameleon after the guy she was with dumped her. At first she thought he didn’t want anymore kids, so she didn’t want anymore kids. Then it came out he did and all of a sudden she did want kids. Before she wanted to be either a stay at home and take care of the kids (there were 3 involved at the time) or a more extra income winner, then when she found out he wanted to be a SAH dad all of a sudden she had ambition to be a career woman. It was stunningly pathetic to witness. It went on for some time like this and gave me a bit of a headache.

The problem with this type of chick is she has been doing this with every guy she has been with. At this point, who the hell is she?

Loving someone is looking at their faults and flaws and all the things you don’t like and saying “Yeah, I can live with that, it’s worth it”. But if she isn’t being the real her in the effort to get you to like her, who are you really falling in love with? It’s not her, it’s an imaginary character.

And last but not least the judgmental bitch. You know the type, always telling people what to do and how others suck, oh wait….