Summer Calender of Fun

So here is a list of some of the fun things coming up.

Start Date End Date Event
4/1/2010 ongoing NASA now at the Science Center!
4/16/2010 Movie Death At A Funeral
4/16/2010 Movie Kick Ass
4/18/2010 EarthFest at the Cleveland Zoo
4/22/2010 Movie Oceans
4/23/2010 Movie Losers
4/23/2010 4/25/2010 North Coast Natural Festival – Rocky River Nature Center
4/24/2010 4/25/2010 Mill Hollow Herb Fair
4/24/2010 National Astronomy Day – Nielsen Observatory
4/30/2010 Movie Nightmare on Elm Street
5/1/2010 Free Comic Book Day
5/2/2010 2nd Annual MLNWO 5k
5/7/2010 Movie Babies
5/7/2010 Movie Iron Man 2 *
5/8/2010 UFC 113
5/21/2010 Lake Erie Crushers Opening Day!
5/14/2010 Treemont Art Walk
5/14/2010 Movie Robin Hood
5/15/2010 All City Art Festival – Cleveland
5/15/2010 Cedar Point Opens
5/21/2010 Movie MacGruber
5/21/2010 Movie Shrek Forever
5/22/2010 Cleveland Asian Festival
5/22/2010 5/23/2010 Hessler Festival
5/28/2010 Movie Prince of Persia
5/28/2010 5/31/2010 Rib Cook Off-Tower City
5/28/2010 Movie Survival of the Dead
5/29/2010 UFC 114
6/4/2010 Movie Get Him to the Greek
6/4/2010 Movie Killers
6/4/2010 Movie Splice
6/11/2010 Movie A-Team*
6/11/2010 6/13/2010 Italian-American Festival – Berea
6/11/2010 Movie Karate Kid
6/12/2010 Parade on the Circle
6/12/2010 UFC 115
6/18/2010 6/20/2010 Avon Duct Tape Festival
6/18/2010 Movie Jonah Hex
6/18/2010 Movie Toy Story 3
6/18/2010 6/20/2010 Vermillion Festival of the Fish
6/23/2010 6/27/2010 Origins Gaming Con
6/25/2010 6/26/2010 Cleveland Wine Festival
6/25/2010 Movie Grown-Ups
6/25/2010 Movie Knight and Day
6/25/2010 6/27/2010 Lorain’s Internal Festival
6/27/2010 Rock and Soul Fest – R&R Hall of Fame
6/30/2010 Movie Twilight Saga:Eclipse
7/2/2010 Movie Last Airbender*
7/9/2010 Movie Predators
7/16/2010 Movie Inception
7/16/2010 Movie Sorcerer’s Apprentice
7/22/2010 7/25/2010 Comic Con
7/23/2010 Movie Dinner for Schmucks
7/23/2010 Movie Salt
8/5/2010 8/8/2010 Gen Con
8/6/2010 Movie Mao’s Last Dancer
8/6/2010 Movie Other Guys
8/6/2010 Movie Step Up 3D
8/6/2010 Twilight at the Zoo
8/7/2010 Lakewood Arts Festival
8/13/2010 8/15/2010 North Ridgeville Corn Festival
8/13/2010 Movie Scott Pilgrim vs the World*
8/13/2010 Movie The Expendables
8/15/2010 Burning River Fest
8/15/2010 Little Italy’s Feast of the Assumption
8/19/2010 8/22/2010 Wizard World
8/29/2010 Latino Heritage Festival
9/3/2010 9/6/2010 Cleveland Labor Day Oktoberfest
9/3/2010 9/6/2010 Dragon Con
9/3/2010 9/6/2010 Taste of Cleveland
9/4/2010 10/24/2010 Ohio RenFest – Cinci
9/10/2010 Movie Resident Evil: AfterLife
9/16/2010 9/19/2010 Ravenna Hot Air Balloon Festival
9/24/2010 Movie Buried
9/24/2010 9/26/2010 IngenuityFest
9/24/2010 Movie Wallstreet 2

So work has exploded, and I am buried. It has been a while since I have worked this many hours in a week. This job has been spoiling me. But on top of it, it is the type of work I am doing. It is analysis and a little weird feeling it out. Though I enjoy it, I am making the type of decisions I haven’t been asked to make before and I am definitely being stretch.
Now given I am getting my MBA that is a good thing, but since I also have homework for said MBA, it feels like I am going 100 miles an hour all the time.
Now luckily this project will be done by Wednesday (fingers crossed), so I know I will have time to catch my breath then. But it is a bit overwhelming in that aspect right now. Especially since this semester ends on Wed too.
And the kicker? I had people over to watch the UFC fights yesterday to boot. So I have been working, writing papers, cleaning or cooking pretty much straight.
And I have been working out too. But that is another post unto itself.
So wish me luck to get through to Wednesday, and then expect more from me. Cause I might actually have the time to write!

Sometimes it is hard to set limits on myself. It’s a weakness of mine and something I am trying to work with. I don’t always acknowledge that there is only 24 hours in a day. So I overcommit…a lot.

Plus there is the whole saying no thing. Also something that isn’t a strong suit. Okay, so anyone who knows me knows I have a hard time saying no. If I do, feel ridiculously guilty, that I am letting that person down. But that is why I end up with over 13 magazine subscriptions and tired all the time. See, even when I don’t say know I still try to work on my goals. And given that they haven’t invited a way to live without sleep, I am normally behind on my to do list.

So when there was a chance to get certified to teach Masala Bhangra, I was trilled. One weekend and I would be able to teach others a workout and introduce a form of dance I love. The cost, $500. Then I thought more about it. What if I spent the $500 to get certified, how would I feel? And then it hit me. I would feel obligated to actually teach. And that would probably mean that I would need to get my group exercise certification. That’s more time and more money. Plus, the time involved recruiting and teaching classes. And why? I want people to experience the fun I have, but teaching them wasn’t the priority, the experience is. So am I really willing to commit myself to that type of time commitment in something I am not actually passionate in doing because of what is in essence, a vanity desire, to be certified?

When I thought about it, I realized that was just not practical. My time is more valuable focusing on getting my MBA and passing the actuarial tests. I haven’t taken it entirely off the table, just put it in the one day goal category. I signed up for the 1.5 hour Masters Class in March instead so I can rock it with the founder of the style.

There is so much I want to do, to experience, to try. And there are so many responsibilities I have. And sometimes I have to take a step back and put one desire on hold in order to better fill a responsibility. More education equals more money for me, which means better education for the kid. And that kid, he is my highest priority.

Maybe one day, when he is off pursuing his own goals, I can be more spontaneous with my goals. But for now, I need to acknowledge I am not Super Woman, I can’t do it all, all the time. This experience has really caused me to re-evaluate how I handle my time. I think I need to look more closely at not just what I am wasting time on, but what I am committing to and the people I am committing to.

I realized this morning that between twitter and Facebook I have over 500 different people following my feeds. Given I am not a celeb or anything that made me pause. Especially the majorities of people I talk to and network with are work or volunteer related. Yes, some following the feeds are, but very few from these arenas. So realistically I am maintaining 1300 various type of relationships. Even if they are all superficial, which they are not, that is a lot of people. I felt overwhelmed and misdirected.

I think I need to take a step back and look at who are people who positively contribute to my life in comparison to who I am spending time with. I need to re-prioritize my time. I need to start saying no. I realized that I haven’t really spent time with my Grandparents in like weeks. They live blocks from me. It isn’t because boytoy or the kid don’t get along with them. My Grandparents approve of boytoy and the kid adores his abuelo and abuela. So why? Because I am committing to do things for others who in all honesty would just find someone else to do it. That isn’t right.

It is funny how an exercise class can make you realize a deep truth about your life, but it has helped me create a new goal. There are friends I need to reconnect with and spend more time with, who are good for me. There are others in my life I probably need to spend less time with. I need to see my family more. I need to recalibrate my social media so it highlights those I care about instead of the massive constant stream of information from people who I don’t actually connect with. I need to go to Canada, New York, Florida, Kansas City, Indianapolis and South Carolina and visit some people I truly love. I need to get on the chat more and talk to those who have seen me through good times and bad. I need to start saying no.

And in all honesty, I need to eat a Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg.

Lately I have been having discussions with my son about being an adult and the concept of manhood. I have also been discussing this topic, well discussing is probably not the right word, with another man in my life. This topic is surprisingly filled with so much loaded aspects that it has caught me off guard. The concept of being a woman isn’t as loaded. Yes, there are aspects up for debate, being married, having a kid, are these really needed to be a real woman, and all the fallout from those debates, yes. But for the most part, being a woman is pretty much defined in a very open ended manner, as what we want to see ourselves as.

But being a man, that is different story. It’s odd because to me it is clear what a real man is. But before I go on let me specify why I keep saying real man over just man. It boils down to meaning not age. Whether you believe a boy becomes a man at 12, 16, 18 or 21 or some other set age, almost everyone will agree that age doesn’t determine maturity. So just because a man is 60, doesn’t mean he is not a boy in maturity terms. That is why I specify real man. A real man, regardless of age, is one who fits the definition of man. I have met 14 year olds that were real men, and I have met 45 year olds who have never been a real man.

So, what a real man is to me. I come from a long line of military men, so this probably taints my view a little, but I think it is pretty universal by most real women standards. A real man does right by his family, his friends, his country and himself, and frankly, in that order.

Now I have been told that “this will help make a man out of him” in reference to my son and concerning activities all time. Frankly, to me, all those activities, they are simply playing at being a man. Just because you can do martial arts, fight, shoot something, throw a knife, use a sword, run a mile in under 5 minutes, do push ups, bench press their body weight, never cry, sleep with a ton of women, get a bunch of women’s phone numbers, have a kid, or carve a turkey does not make anyone a man. Can they influence, yes, but does it prove a person is a man? Absolutely not. In fact, by most womens’ standards, the exact opposite.

Why? Because to us, it’s a joke. It’s compensating for something. Especially when instead of actually fulfilling their responsibilities, they are doing this instead. See at the end of the day, the real definition of a Real Man is simple. They are responsible.

It’s funny. My son had mentioned one friend in particular as an example of manhood. He knows Kung Fu, can throw knives, is a great shot when playing paintball and probably other gun related sports, even knows archery. I told him he was a great example in many ways, but not for those listed. He is a single dad. He takes damn good care of his daughter, he holds a steady job and pays his bills. Is there times he would rather being playing Modern Warfare than helping his daughter do her homework? Of course, but he helps her. Is there time when he would rather watch a movie than make dinner, do the dishes or laundry? How wouldn’t, but he does them. And that is what makes him a Real Man and why my son should see him as an example. He doesn’t complain about doing them, makes excuses for not doing them or tries to hold out the things my son originally listed as reasons he shouldn’t have to. He does them. He is responsible.

My son is 11. I know that becoming a Real Man is a work in progress for the rest of his life. No one is perfect and we all drop the ball many times. But I look at his becoming a man as one of the most important things I need to teach him. And yes, I will take him to Kung Fu lessons, and teach him how to chat up a girl, and be there when he gets his heart broken and guide him through all the ridiculous images of being a man that derails so many boys and stunts their true growth.

But I think I am qualified even though I don’t have a penis. Because sometimes the best man for the job, is a woman.

This is not about whether Global Warming exists. Frankly if you are so stupid to think that you know better than people how actually study this for a living, where the scientific community is actually at a 99.4% agreement on this, then there is no hope for you. Odds are you will kill yourself in some ridiculous manner as most stupid people do and therefore I am not too concerned with you on that point.

No, my issue is for the time you have left on this planet and the impact you actually are having. So, let’s assume Global Warming is off the table. The polar caps are not melting as we speak, islands are not slowly drowning and we haven’t had some of the worst hurricanes and tsunamis in the recorded history in the last decade. Poof, gone. No my problem is that the same things that would reverse global warming actually work on other things too.

Let’s start with the biggest contention right now, green energy. I actually heard a VP of a coal company say that if we pursued this road we might as well just go ahead and hand the keys to America to China. Biased? Of course. But is it true? Actually, the exact opposite.

If you were to look at countries that are advanced in the area of green technology the biggest is Japan. They instituted some government laws back in the 70s and 80s during their last oil scare that promoted massive business change. Now, hmmm…what country was everyone jealous of in the 80s and 90s? Oh, that’s right, Japan. Now the problem with Japan is nothing to do with government regulation but actually a quite steep population drop. Their growth rate is -.052%. One could argue this is also good for the planet, but it is actually bad for Japan. Especially when their average age is 42. Compared to us at 36.7 yrs old, you might be seeing why that is an issue. As the population trends downward, the average population age will creep closer to non-child bearing age. At that point, there is no turning back. So who will take care of the Japanese elderly, and frankly inherit all their wonderful technology?

China. Actually they already are well on that road. They are building the largest mass transit system conceived and to say its energy efficient would be an understatement. Their railway system has trains that make ours look like they are from turn of the last century. And they are smart too, not building them so they go through the heart of major cities so they can actually go a lot faster than ours. In fact, the trains are being bought from us, we have the tech, we just aren’t using it.

So why is this important? Simple. One of the biggest costs of any product is shipping. Now if it uses less fuel and it is faster to market, do you think the price will be more or less? And we have to compete with them. And this is just one example of truly hundreds. China is going bonkers for green tech and investing like crazy because they see that it is not only a money maker, but in the long run will lower production costs and give them an edge. So it begs the question what is that coal guy smoking, right?
Let’s look at another capitalist competition issue, health care. Debates off the table here too, that’s not the point. The point is cost, both explicit and hidden. Health care is damn expense here. It is in China too. So let’s assume that explicit costs of healthcare are off the table at this point. Yes, Germany, Japan, and all the other industrialize countries along with up and coming countries has universal healthcare and that gives them a HUGE advantage. Heck, even China is moving that way. But that isn’t my point. Let’s talk hidden costs.

Let’s look at one disease: Asthma. 30.8 million People as of 2008 in the US have been diagnosed with Asthma. The percent of children diagnosed has doubled since 1980. Now there is no definite cause for Asthma that we are sure of (if you get exposed to this germ, chemical, etc you get asthma kinda of thing) but what it primarily is simply an allergic reaction to something in the environment. Body goes nuts and tries to close the airpipe to prevent the allergen from coming in. But one thing is for sure, environmental factors are certainly playing a role. Why so certain? Simple. Look at where Asthma is growing. The more factories and such are in the area, the higher rate of Asthma in the community. Plus, when air quality gets really bad, there is a spike in ER visits by those with Asthma. Why do you think they mention that on the weather report in areas where air quality sucks (I’m looking at you LA). It’s to try and keep people inside who are at risk. I live Cleveland where the CDC has actually classified Asthma as an epidemic here. There is a direct correlation between air quality and the chance of developing Asthma.

Now Asthma can be expensive, but we are not looking at that. Lets look at the hidden costs. Asthma sucks. You can’t breathe. But there is other stuff too. You are more likely to catch colds, the flu, and other respiratory ailments. You are more likely to have them longer. And, here is the kicker; they stay in your system longer making you a carrier.

So, a person with mild Asthma who doesn’t even have to go to an ER for an attack can still have Asthma cause other problems. Flu comes around and bam! They have it. So they now miss 3 days of work. They come back feeling better, but in turn two weeks later people start to get the flu. 5 other people are out for 1-4 days. Now, they spread to their immediate family and 2 others have to stay home an additional day because their kids are sick. Now, that means production slowed, possibly temps were bought in so that additional expense (temps are pricey), which means that there will be pushing the shipment later. It will now be a rush and that incurs more cost. Now what does that mean to profits? Lower. What does that mean to cost to consumer, higher.

So, if you stop and think about it is Asthma only impacting those who have it? If only. There is a ripple effect. So let’s say we manage to lower Asthma rates by just 1 percent. The amount of money that would save just in explicit costs alone would be huge. You add in hidden costs and I think the word you are looking for is damn. Best way to do it? Improve air quality.

And that is only one of the many diseases and conditions those things like air quality and water quality impact. There is some concern with that water quality might be influencing the cancer rates in the US. And you can only imagine the kind of costs that disease has in presenteeism alone.
Now there are other benefits. Reduce oil consumption through green tech and efficiency and we lower dependency on foreign oil.

All the major booms in US history, factory, space, tech, housing, etc have all been spurred on by government help. Green tech can very easily be the next boom that helps the economy. Yes, there are always busts, but they have been in existence since Rome so I am not sure how you get around that in any economy.

There is room. The more we need places to put our trash the less room we have to play.

Oh, I can go on and on, but I think you get the point. So ask yourself this simple question: When you actually consider the hidden costs, what costs more, doing stuff that impacts the trend of global warming or not doing it? Even without taking into consideration the actual cost of global warming the answer is blatantly clear.

So I was reading through my Twitter feed and clicked on this link and laughed my ass off: 13 Signs You are Dating a Loser

Frankly there are plenty of men in my life who need this as a blue print for who not to date. But then I realized, some where missing or where frankly to open for interpretation. So I thought I would toss a few more on the list that I like to refer to as run don’t walk away from women.

Further Tip Offs you are dating a Loser:

1) She is not friends with her Exes.

Yes, there are some men who are total a-holes and should lose the friendship, but for the most part, relationships are a two way street. If there is only one she isn’t friends with, that’s excusable. But if she isn’t friends with the majority that is a HUGE red flag. If she speaks negatively about them on top of that, run! Run fast and run hard. See, that type of girl is doing one of two things. A) She has got some truly shitty taste which speaks volumes on how she sees herself or and more realistically the case B) She is never at fault. She is perfect. And guess what, you are not.

2) You have so much Potential if you just didn’t waste it!

No one gets likes another person’s likes 100% percent. And yes, there are a lot of people out there that need motivation. But there is a huge difference between being a supportive girlfriend who is cheering you on to take that risk and ask for that raise you deserve and the one who bitches that there is no point in playing video games, that is so childish, and you need to grow up and do something more productive.

You are not a project to be fixed, mended or molded. You might need some scrubbing and yes, we might demand that you scrub your nails before they go certain places, but that is more for our protection than to change you. Asking you to bathe, brush your hair and/or teeth and cut your nails does not fall in this category.

3) Dress for Success

So lets talk about actual appearance. I am pretty easy going on this stuff for the most part except for two things in reference to women that are warning signs of potential issues, dress her age and dress this decade.

a) Age Appropriate Wear
There are certain issues when a woman dresses inappropriately for her age. A) she normally can’t pull it off very well because of pesky gravity and B) why does she feel the need to dress that way. Let me explain. There are certain things you can wear when you are 15 to 22 that you really can’t wear much past that. I don’t care how smoking hot you are, you are still smoking hot in comparison to women your age, not their age. So the question why is this bad? Simple. Either they don’t want to grow up or that was their best time of their life and they don’t want to let it go. Either way, bad for you. There will be drama. Tip Offs-too short shorts, tops that purposely show the bra (wife beater or spaghetti strapped tank top with a standard bra for example – and really, why is anyone dressing like Lindsay Lohan or Brittney Spears anyway?), glitter makeup.

Exceptions to this rule: Halloween and Sporting Events. I will never fault a woman in pigtails, face paint and wearing cut off sweatpants with her team’s logo across the ass. That is getting into character and that to me is the same as dressing up for Halloween or being on stage.

b) 1985 called, they want their hair back

Bowling for Soup got it right in the song “1985”. If you are still dressing from a different era, you are still trying to live in that era. Yes, fashion is cyclical but not exactly. Best example is Rockabilly Style. This style specifically pulls from a much older era. Yet, is it exactly a match, of course not. It adds in flare from this time period too. Even when stars where vintage they pair with other more up to date elements. And unless you live where there is no tv, magazines, billboards, newspapers, or internet, then there is no excuse to at least be aware that time has moved onward.

Why is this a problem? Well, if the best time of her life is behind her, then where does that leave you? In the not as good time as back then? No, if a woman is always looking backwards, her future will become exactly as she expects to be, never as good as it was back then. And do you really want to be part of that? Its one thing to look back on your deathbed and say, “College was the high point” its something entirely different to live the remaining 60 years of your life by that belief.

4) Excuses, Excuses

So several things fall under this, but they all go back to the fact that they are technically a victim in their own life. Whatever the excuse, I was raised that way, it’s what is expected of me, its tradition (whether this be cultural, ethnic or religious), etc. But the main point is there is always an outside force that compels them to do bad things. I drink because my parents drank. I only eat fatty fried foods because that’s how Southern/Greek/Italian/Mexican/etc cook, or my personal favorite, well in “my culture it’s expected for the man to have a mistress”.

Though this came out of a man’s mouth, I actually had a man tell me how it was his devoted wife’s fault that he had a string of affairs with strippers he picked up when he was out traveling for work.

Now we all make little rationalizations for why we don’t do things we know we should or for why we do things we know we shouldn’t. But if it is a biggie, or if the majority of explanations even for small stuff are the victim card, then you need to leave. That’s because part of being an adult is being responsible for your actions and if she can’t even be honest with herself about that, she is not an adult. And it’s illegal to date minors.

5) Violent

The fact that I need to say this sucks. I will give a free pass in certain situations. Slapping because the ex cheated, she was preggers and it wasn’t too bad (those damn hormones), high school, things like this, I will let pass. But if she has EVER got violent with an ex, friends, in a bar, her children or you, get out now.

“But her ex was abusive”. I volunteered at a crisis center; I am familiar with domestic abuse. Sometimes women are the abuser and actually sometimes the abuse is mutual.

Think of it this way, if your mom or sister were dating a man who did that action towards their ex, would you be okay with them dating that guy? Then why lower the standard for you.

And if a guy actually dated a chick who burned all an ex’s stuff like in the movie “Exhale” I would personally buy him an airline ticket to get the hell out of there. Shut it down.

6) The Chameleon

This one can be tricky. You might not even know at first you are dating a Chameleon. Your likes are her likes. She might have not done something before but she is willing to try it because you like it. She might come across as perfect, but be careful. No one is perfect.

This is a hard one because I don’t want to be to general. There are plenty of women out there that will try new things because of a guy and end up liking it for the actual thing, not the guy. But there are women out there that are so desperate that they will try and change themselves to be the perfect woman for what man they are currently with. And that is the key part.

I had the misfortune to actually witness the transformation (well, over the phone) of a Chameleon after the guy she was with dumped her. At first she thought he didn’t want anymore kids, so she didn’t want anymore kids. Then it came out he did and all of a sudden she did want kids. Before she wanted to be either a stay at home and take care of the kids (there were 3 involved at the time) or a more extra income winner, then when she found out he wanted to be a SAH dad all of a sudden she had ambition to be a career woman. It was stunningly pathetic to witness. It went on for some time like this and gave me a bit of a headache.

The problem with this type of chick is she has been doing this with every guy she has been with. At this point, who the hell is she?

Loving someone is looking at their faults and flaws and all the things you don’t like and saying “Yeah, I can live with that, it’s worth it”. But if she isn’t being the real her in the effort to get you to like her, who are you really falling in love with? It’s not her, it’s an imaginary character.

And last but not least the judgmental bitch. You know the type, always telling people what to do and how others suck, oh wait….